Defender
by hatehateslove
Summary: Alexander is a name with Greek origins, meaning defender of the people.


Alexander Lightwood never believed he'd have a future in which he ended up happy. The thought never occurred to him that he could one day come home to the love of his life, after a long day at work, and hear the squeal of his children as they heard his key turning in the lock. He had given up on such a dream at a 13. Only months after Jace Wayland made his way into the Lightwood home.

It was obvious, after having been knocked on his ass time and time again, that Jace was the stronger fighter of the two. Alec wanted to punch him after Jace asked him to be his _parabatai_. He didn't need Jace's pity. He wanted to make him hurt, for hurting him. But Alec was never one to initiate a fight. He only mediated the ones that happened and only got involved if he needed to protect someone he loved.

And so he'd accepted Jace's offer and took on the full-time duty of saving Jace's life time and time again. Without ever getting any recognition for his hand in keeping Jace alive. It was Alec that covered Jace when he was being rash and illogical. It was Alec that cleaned up the messes Jace made wherever he went. It was Alec that took the blame, the fall for all of Jace's actions.

Everyone paid even less mind to the eldest Lightwood after they saw the finesse with which Izzy faught. With Jace and Izzy taking the best and second best Shadowhunter's of their generation titles respectively, Alec Lightwood was best known as related to them, nothing less, never more.

Years later and the two proved themselves deserving of such titles, Alec never got the chance, always standing in their shadow. Their support, their protection, their defender.

Their support when failed missions' reports ended up on their parent's desk. It was Alec that talked them out of doubting his siblings, blaming himself for their failures. To him, their parents already saw him enough as a failure, they couldn't hate him more than they already did.

He protected them in the midst of battle. Shooting his arrows to make sure that no demon came too close to them, keeping them alive and unhurt as possible. He would rather take the poison, the blade, the bullet, if it meant that Jace and Izzy were safe. He didn't care what happened to him, as long as they didn't die under his protection. He was their defender on and off the battlefield, putting himself in harm's way to keep them out of it.

No one ever thought it important to ask themselves why the eldest Lightwood wouldn't be just as good a shadowhunter as his siblings. What did it make Alec, being the one person the great Jace Wayland trusted with his life? What did it mean that Alec could do a better job at keeping Jace and Izzy alive than they themselves? What did it mean that Alec could kill what even Jace couldn't?

No one thought to ask, and Alec didn't know if he wanted the answers.

And then another Lightwood was added to the mix. Max Lightwood grew up protected by Alec, and maybe that was why he always liked Jace better. He worshipped Jace, he saw him as the big brother he wanted to grow up to be like. Alec was always keeping him away from the seraph blades while it was Jace that showed Max tricks with his. Alec was the one that kept him out of trouble, but to Max that was keeping him from the fun. Alec was boring. Jace was fun.

Alec didn't mind not getting the attention from Max. As long as he was safe, Alec was happy. With a war fast approaching, Alec spent more and more time protecting and defending Jace and Izzy. He didn't think that Max would need any, a child of 9 had no place in a war.

But he'd been wrong. He'd been so wrong, and it didn't matter what anyone said, it was his fault. He could have done something, anything - everything. Max didn't deserve to go the way he did. Alec should have been there to protect him. But he wasn't. He didn't. And that is one thing that Alec will never forgive himself for.

He'd met Magnus Bane around the same time. It was Magnus that was the first to protect Alec. It was Magnus that picked Alec back up after Max. It was Magnus that killed enemies that Alec had missed. It was Magnus that defended Alec. The first time in Alec's life where he wasn't the one defending and protecting, but the one defended and protected.

And that sense of security, of belonging, is what kept Alec going. What kept him coming back to Magnus time and time again. It was because of Magnus that Alec learned to love himself so he could love those around him. It was because of Magnus that Alec began to see a future in which he ends up happy.

His dream of coming home to the love of his life became the reality of coming home to Magnus. The dream of hearing his children squeal became the reality of Max and Rafael screeching "Daddy!" as soon as they heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. His dream of being happy became Alec's reality.


End file.
